Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Where I try to blog before the ambien knocks me the hell out

My internet friends, the warm blanket of pharmaceutical joy is draping over my shoulders and whispering "sleep, sleep".

My cognitive function is fading fast, but here's the skinny: I am frustrated with my mind and body this week. I have stepped up the workouts, added on yoga to the KB and walking regime, and swinging heavier and faster, really trying to put power into each movement. Eating has been ok - not Tracy ok, but normal for me. So WHY am I suddenly weighing so much heavier? And WHY won't it come off? My usual tips and tricks aren't doing it. When Dad was diagnosed and I stopped eating, I was down to 132 and was thrilled there. From there I have yoyo'd between 132 and 137. No biggie, it goes up and down over the course of the month. But I am currently holding steady at 140 and I want to die. My helpful husband suggested it was muscle. I 'll concede that maybe one pound is muscle, but what about the rest? I even double up workout days... what is the deal? Has my metabolism finally jumped ship, yelling 'free rides over now!' That would suck. 
I didn't swing today because I was too tired and puny feeling. Meaning.....tomorrow will be yet another day of DOOM - swings at the park in the am, and the yoga in the evening, 

Any suggestions would be much appreciated 
whoa.... the keyboard is shifting and rolling like an ocean. Safe to say the ambien kicked in.
Night all


Amy said...

Suggestion: Stay off the scale. Best advice I ever got. I weigh myself once a month at most. How do you feel? How do your clothes fit? Those are the gauges.

How tall are you? 140 doesn't seem like a high number to me based on how you looked in your reunion photos.

When you start worrying about the number on the scale, go put on your "skinny jeans" and swing your kb. That should do it! ;-)

Christine said...

I've noticed my jeans fitting a little tighter than usual - but not too bad. I have a touch of body dysmorphic disorder (just ask my husband) so my perception of how I look is usually not accurate. I'm about 5'6, and ideally like to be in the 130 range. I'm within range, but I don't like it. Though, while at yoga Monday, I was with a friend who is super duper skinny, and when looking at us next to each other in the mirror, I didn't think I looked fat - just solid. Muscular. I definitely had a lot more power behind my poses than she did. That was a good feeling.
I have a scale obsession, I always have. I step on it every day. Not the best way to start the day. I'm thinking of putting it away so I won't be tempted.
Alright, time to go swing!