Saturday, April 12, 2008

Where I eat a brownie. And chips. And salsa.

I am truly blessed with all the food that has been brought over for my family. Between my church and the kindergarten moms, I don't have to cook for the next 2 weeks. 

And if they keep bringing food like they have for the last few days, I may wind up weighing 500 pounds. Well, probably not, but as my husband pointed out, he might. God bless my metabolism. My weight is still the same, I think I've been working it off pacing hospital halls. Either weigh, gain or lose 2- 3 pounds, guess what? WOW, so don't give a shit. At. All. I will swing a KB again and go on a walk again, just not right now. There is a lot going on, and I have not slept well since we found out. My family is my absolute #1 priority, and if you are so vapid and vain to think that is unreasonable or somehow weird, then you are an asshole with a black lump of coal where your heart should be, and you can kind of fuck off.

I don't know how much I'll be posting here, I'm writing most of my blogs at my Dad's caring bridge site - but I warn you, I am Debbie Downer over there. But that's most likely where you'll find me.

Oh! And I think one of my mom's friends found my blog! Oops! Sorry, Karen, you should probably know that I swear a LOT here. Please don't hate me! 


Amy said...

I would think it is strange for you NOT to put your family first during this time. I like your perspective: "I will swing a KB again and go on a walk again, just not right now."

Keep writing - swear words and all!! I'll keep checking in on you and letting you know there's another person one state away sending you positive energy and praying that God will give you the strength you need.


Christine said...

You know, there are some people in the fitness/kb community that are a little judgmental. I find it weirder than hell. I felt I had to give a little shout out to the douches.

If I could get caught up on sleep, life would be good. If I could stop feeling like I am going to leap out of my skin, it would be even better! Thanks for stopping by....

Julie said...

I hear you, sista. I have a "friend" who keeps not-so-subtly mentioning how much I used to go to the gym but that I haven't talked about it at all much and really don't I know how much better it'd make me feel??? I am like, WTF, dude. I stopped going about six months ago - when my grandfather was dying, then when he passed away, then I found out my mother has cancer, then I got into a car accident...and now I am trying to deal with working, having a relationship with a significant other, maintaining my relationships with friends and family, and you snidely mention AGAIN how maybe I should get back to working out?

screw you, I want to say. It's all I have to keep getting up in the morning and doing my business. All it does when she mentions it to me is pisses me off and makes me defensive. It does not make me feel like, oh yes, let me work out!! I know it'd make me feel better but maybe right now all I have the strength for is doing what I am already doing.

so there.

Hugs to you, my friend. I think of you EVERY day.

hillary said...

i think of you every day.