Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Howdy, ex husband

I think my ex husband found my blog( I love site meter!)... which is just sort of bizarre. We were married ever so briefly (I think they call those 'starter marriages' now) back in 1998, and the short story is: I married someone I barely knew, who didn't really know me. I wanted desperately to be married and be a wife and mother, I gave no thought to the consequences of marrying a man I didn't know. And quite possibly didn't love. I was a wee bit of a mess back then. I get a little flash of embarrassment in anyone from that era of my life finding me. I did some really stupid things back in the day.

But I can't say I have a lot of regrets, whatever completely fucked up path I was on led me to where I am today. I'm not sure I would have met Bryan if I had not been with N. at the time. I'm not sure I'd be where I am now, with the happy suburban life, if I had not been where I was then. 

The part that really sucks, is that now I feel I have to censor or edit what I write - there's a reason only a handful of in-real-life folks read this blog. So to erase entries or not to erase? I mention N in one entry - just one. I don't think I misrepresent the situation. But I admit, I saw that he was reading that entry, and thought ohgodohgod I have to erase that rightfuckingnow! But y'know, he's read it, the damage is done, and this is someone I have neither seen or spoken to in about 9 years. So it is what it is. 
But it still makes me feel weird. 

So, N, you've made about 5 visits here, next time, nut up and say hello. 

So that's my weird little tidbit today. It's still cold as fuck here, I'm still fighting off some weird infection, and I hurt from my swinging last night. It's those singles with the 35# that killed me. 

Alrighty, time to go pick up the kids...

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