Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Where I seriously, eat half a pie in a day

The Great Pie Binge of 2007. I am a seriously disturbed individual. I ate nothing of substance yesterday. So much so, that I felt slightly sick when I went to bed. I was in pain most of the day, and took it as an excuse to eat like a spoiled child. I Can actually find some similarities between Addie with the potty training and me with the eating:

me: "addie, where are you supposed to potty?"
addie:" in the potty chair."
me: "and where did you just go?"
addie: "on the floor"
me: " and why did you do that?"
addie: "because I'm naughty."

HA! She totally gets it, and so do I. I had no doubt what I was doing, no delusions. I knew it was bad bad bad. I knew I'd feel like shit. I knew I would feel guilty! So why did I do it? No clue. Because I can? Because I'm afraid of 'missing out'? Because I feel sad and hurt and think I 'deserve it'? All this and so much more.

I really miss KBs. I miss the feeling of accomplishment. I miss how energized I feel afterwards. I miss the EASE of it - in terms of being able to work out while the kids are home and not need childcare. All the other things I do - walking, swimming, yoga class - require someone to come help with the kids. Or I have to do it late at night when Bryan's home, and I am usually too tired.

Today is the first day in a week that I do not have excruciating pain. This is a good sign! Of course, I am fighting every urge to go try swinging! I found a guy through Dragon Door that had herniated disks (worse than me) and overcame it with KBs. I'm hoping to get in touch with him and find out when and how he started out after his injury. I have to get back on track, and I have to stop the pity party!

On the potty training end of things, Addie is doing really well- she still has accidents, but she goes in the potty at least once a day. I think we're on the right track.

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