Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Where I lament the last 2 1/2 weeks

Honestly, I don't even know where to begin. It's been a horrendous couple of weeks. My mom, myself, my daughter and my husband have all been sick. Aunt Henri has been a giant pain in the ass. She moved fucking TRASH cross country. I'm not kidding, she is a hoarder. My parents have been trying to unpack her house, but it's a daunting, overwhelming task. I am not a lot of help, unless I get a babysitter for the day.

Henri is in a rehab facility, and hating every minute of it. She's cranky on a good day, so you can imagine what we've been dealing with. She's also been in deep denial about her health, and is convinced she is going to go home in a few days and unpack her house and live alone. She can't walk very well, she can't move her arm, she JUST had the catheder removed last night, she's only lucid about 30% of the time. She's not in the greatest shape. And she is STUBBORN. I didn't visit for 2 days because I needed a break.

I had a full-on meltdown over the weekend, have been more depressed than I've been in years. It's like I have the weight of the world bearing down on me. I take care of everyone, and I can't help but (selfishly) wonder when there's going to be time for me. I know my husband thinks of me as being high maintenance, but the reality is, I'm not. The stuff I really want time for are exercise and grooming. Basic showering, making my hair look not crazy. Shaving legs. Smelling nice. Exercise is a no-brainer: my mental state is better when I exercise regularly. I don't want wild nights out with the girls, or a trip to the spa. Just a shower, a walk, and some swinging. Does that sound high maintenance?

I'm still coughing, but I don't feel like I'm going to die anymore. It's getting better on a daily basis. I'm hoping to get back into a routine of some sort soon, but it seems there's always something throwing a wrench in my plans.


Jenny said...

That's It! 6pm tonight. Be ready.

christine said...

Get me the hell out of here!!!!!!!!!!