Thursday, May 8, 2008

Where I pause to blog, even though I have a million things to do

I really don't have time for this. I have a cake to bake a cookies to roll out, not to mention the usual house stuff and finding time to walk. But whatever, I'm drinking my protein shake and can't do much else until I'm done, so here I am. 

I have little to no appetite, workout like a fiend, and yet my weight is holding steady: 135. WTF? I'm wondering if maybe I'm not getting enough calories, so I'm trying to ingest at least 1 protein shake a day. Today I tossed in a banana, strawberries and blackberries. Fairly yummy. The vanilla powder leaves a little bit of an aftertaste, but what the hell. It gets some nutrition in me, where most days I am lucky if I eat one actual meal. Food just doesn't taste good to me. I actually opened a pint of Ben and Jerry's, took a bite, and then put it back because it didn't taste good to me. I'm sure Bryan is wondering if I've been taken over by aliens. I don't know what is up with me, but I'm getting a little pissy - what is the point of nopt eating if I don't lose crazy amounts of weight? It seems unfair.

I walked last night after my quickie KB workout, and let me tell you, I slept like a baby. Well, not one of my babies, because my kids have never been good sleepers. But you know, someone else's baby. I'm sore as hell from those 16kg swings, but it's all good. 

I'm not in the mood to talk about cancer, but I'll say this much: the side affects are kicking in, and they suck. Dad feels shitty. It's really hard to deal with right now. 

I'm off to bake a birthday cake....


Julie said...

I feel the same way sometimes, especially on Thursdays after i take my mom to her appointments. I don't want to talk about it but I am weighed down by sadness when I see how the side effects are hitting my mom. The weight of the sadness makes me feel sad and lonely too.

Christine said...

I think of you every day. It helps to know there's someone else going thru the same crap as me, even though you're miles away.

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