Thursday, April 3, 2008

Where it rains, and Henry grows a lot, and I talk about sugar

I kept Henry out of school today, he had a 9:15 check-up, and considering school hours are 8:10-11:05, it didn't make sense to send him at all. Plus, he's still in the 'red zone' in regards to his asthma, so I figured a quiet day at home with mommy will do him good. The good news is, he has grown like a weed in the last year, and is in the 80th percentile for height! It's nice to have a kid that grows... considering next week, I take Tyler back to KU Med for an extensive growth hormone test to pinpoint why he's not growing. I'm hoping we can start growth hormones soon, he hasn't grown at all in a year, and he is so disproportionately smaller than his peers. 

It is grey and rainy here, so I'm really glad I got in two bouts of exercise yesterday! I have a feeling I may just take it easy today. I'm not a big fan of the treadmill, and unless the rain lets up later, there will be no walking. 

Speaking of walking - my insane husband took 3 long walks yesterday - morning, lunchtime, and evening. The evening one was probably 7-8 mile roundtrip walk to target to get pullups for Henry. Wow! I was impressed.

Not much else... I'm drinking shitty coffee from starbuck's and trying to decide what to make for lunch. I have green beans that need to be used, and red bell peppers. I'm thinking about a variation on a tuna nicoise, minus the potato. Oh- and without the rancid nuts, too. 

It seems like every fitness blog I read, or person I talk to, or Oprah, ferchristsake, are talking about giving up sugar. I've heard for years that if you stop eating 'anything white' - potatoes, sugar, refined flour - that it's not only obviously good for you, but you have increased energy, and lose weight. Potatoes and flour? No problem. Sugar? Hold on here, let's not be so rash.... 

I'll be totally honest. I adore sugar. Love it. I bake for a living, people! It is my absolute downfall, period. I cannot do it in moderation. Anyone who has ever seen me doctor my coffee is astonished. My husband has often wondered aloud if I am part fly. It's not pretty. I'd have to say it borders on a serious addiction - caffeine and sugar - I have my body convinced I cannot live without them. I know I can, I just haven't wanted to. I can choose to pour a pile of sugar in my coffee, or not. I can choose to eat the Easter candy, or not. No one holds a gun to my head. It's so easy to justify it, too. I'm not overweight. I exercise regularly. I have a blessedly fast metabolism. True, I bitch regularly about those last five pounds of baby weight (shut up. I can call it baby weight if I want. Even if the baby is almost four.) but I look fine to everyone else. So what's the deal?

I'm not sure. The biggest part is that I feel tired all the time. From the minute my feet hit the floor, I am utterly exhausted. I feel spacey and out of it most of the day. I remember the first time Bryan went off sugar for South Beach, and after the initial few days of feeling shitty, he remarked how great he felt, how much energy he had. I'm starting to think that no matter how well I eat for my meals, and how much I exercise, I'm never going to feel like I'm functioning at 100% until I get this addiction under control. And I'm not talking switching to splenda, either - I mean no sugar. 

For how long, though? I don't know, how long does it take to 'detox?' Two weeks? A month? Okay, I'm setting 2 weeks as my first goal, because even that sounds insane to me right now. But doable. I'll reevaluate then.


Oh, my sweet little friend, my cup o' highly sugar, burnt tasting, super caloried pseudo coffee crap, how I will miss you....

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