So, feeling pretty good. Starting to recognize real hunger vs. bored/emotional hunger. None of this is seeming so hard - yet! Each day I get behind me with no sugar, good food choices, and exercise, I feel such a sense of accomplishment. It seems like it should just get easier from here on out.
I read a lot on different exercise/fitness/diet blogs about choice. This is a word used a lot, tossed around a lot, (including by me) but I've never really thought about what that means. I've been thinking a lot about it, and I've come to a few conclusions:
1.) I feel like I have a better chance at succeeding with and staying committed to my food goals. Why? Because I am actually choosing to. I am not trying to - or half-assed committing - or justifying a treat because 'I've been so good'. I am full on, balls-out, choosing to eat a certain way. There are certain things I have just taken out of the equation, and I have certain parameters that I work within. And eat within.
2.) I have a serious sweet tooth. And, given my absolute luck in having a blessedly fast metabolism, I have never really, truly had to watch what I eat. It wasn't until my 30's that I started to notice "Whoa, you mean I can't eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's every night?" I have, for the last few years, let my cravings control me to a point where I let myself think I had no other choice. I was effectively, letting my cravings run the show. It's like a light bulb turned on, and I thought, I truly eat this way because I want to. This is all totally, 100% in my control - and I can make the choice to stop. Right now. So I did.
3.) Nothing I have been doing is a new discovery for me. I have read the same stuff over and over. It's all totally common sense. But I feel like I just 'got it'. I don't know, it all clicked and I thought this is it. My light bulb moment.
Today I woke up with a miraculous thought: I can do this. I'm not saying that I don't want a bag of Reece's Pieces, like right now. I'm not saying that I don't miss my nightly bowls of ice cream, or a slice of my unbeatable homemade pie. And I'm not saying I'll never eat sweets again, either. I'm saying that for the immediate future, I really feel I can do this, it's in my grasp, and it feels so concrete- this image of my I have at my pre-baby weight - that I can taste it (pun very much intended).
So that's it. Everyday I make the choice to not eat sugar. To eat more veggies, less fat, lower carbs. And each day I succeed, I feel stronger - not a physical strength, but in my head.
Oh, and I had the ultimate test this afternoon - I went up to our local gourmet food shop, to get my dad a fancy schmancy chocolate bar to take for his night shift at the IRS (he works a hellish 7-3am shift, and has serious health issues besides). Let me tell you, as I was standing in front of row after row of imported chocolate bars, I thought, Man, I could eat one of these right now, and no one would know! But then I thought: I would know! So I purchased the treat for my dad, a small chunk of French bleu cheese to have with my fruit tonight for 'dessert' and some new tea. And went on my merry way. And felt good about it, too!!