Thursday, June 12, 2008

Where I pee blood and learn the extent of my night blindness

Sorry for the lapse in posting... did I mention we were going to Mississippi? Anyway, we're back, and it was really a nice break from reality. My mother in law took me out and we did weapons-grade shopping. We're talking needing a hazmat suit for this shit. It was fun yet totally insane. For example, she got me these: 

Oh hell, yeah, motherfuckers. Silver leather Coach patchwork shoes. I actually gasped when I saw them. Then she also insisted I get a new dress for the reunion. I never got to go to my prom, and getting ready for this felt very much like what it must be like. PLus, my MIL totally blinged me out. I had on her diamond ring that Angie refers to as 'the skating rink' and a lovely teardrop diamond necklace.

You can't see the whole dress, but it was floor length, with vertical ruffles cascading down the front. As Angie said, it made me look 10 feet tall and like I was a size 2.

So yeah, that was all fun - except the night of the meet and greet, when I came down with a raging UTI. I've never had one of those little fuckers before. Oh dear, sweet baby Jesus. That was awful. It hit me out of nowhere, towards the end of the evening, and by the time we got home, I was miserable. Yes, I peed blood. I drank a ton of water and slept half the night on the bathroom floor. The next day, we found an urgent care nearby - I was halfway hoping it would be like the SNL skit Appalachia ER (it would have made a great story) - but it was fine, I got some Cipro, and was feeling better by the time I needed to get all fancied up.

So, at the end of the big bash, Bryan is shit faced. I had not planned on driving, so I didn't bring my glasses, my license, nothing. Plus, we were driving this, my father in laws insanely fast and expensive car. And I had to drive home. On unfamiliar roads. Without my glasses. Or a license. And there are no streetlights in rural Mississippi. Oh, and did I mention I am terribly night blind? I think it was a toss up as to who was better equipped to drive home. I white knuckled it the whole way home, I tell you!

The day after we came back, Leo's ashes were ready. We haven't had the funeral yet. They did his pawprints in some clay, it was a sweet memento. I'm dealing with all kinds of family crap and drama and a sick dad and a mom who makes me feel guilty for sport, and all I want to do is go back to my in-laws house, where I feel loved and appreciated and they hand out compliments like it's normal. I miss my demonic nieces. Best quote of the trip? My sister in law Angie yelling at Isabella "Keep the underwear and death talk to yourself!" Hee! You kind of had to be there.

I went on a 2 hour walk last night. No kbs since I've been back, yet. It's hard to get back into a routine after vacation. That's all I got. Time to get off my ass....


Julie said...

you look beautiful in that pic! and yes, the shoes are killer. :)

Glad to hear the UTI is under control.

thinking of ya!

Christine said...

It was so much fun getting dressed up - with kids and a hectic life, it rarely happens. I got in touch with my inner southern gal, and it was FUN. I even got fake nails. Oh, yeah. I'm having a really hard time getting used to them, they are very different from my usual bitten off bloody stumps.

I knew you'd love the shoes. I thought of you when I tried them on "Oh, Julie is going to crap herself over these!'

Anonymous said...

OH baby! you look hot in that dress. Beautiful and it sounds like the trip was great (except for the bloody pee that is).

Christine said...

Thank you! I felt like a princess... nice because I usually feel like I look like the chupacabra. Or night of the living dead.

Jenny said...

You do look hot. Especially that rack, damn, I'm jealous of that rack.
Also, the UTI? Welcome to my world, since high school. Two words: Cranberry Juice. Is your friend. It has a natural antibiotic in it that helps. Seriously!

Christine said...

Boobs: all done with wires and mirrors and one slice of white bread. They really don't look that good normally!

hillary said...

you look totally rich in that picture, like filthy filthy rich. you keep bars of gold under the kitchen sink and you have an olympic sized swimming pool in your bathroom. and your boobs look great.

Christine said...

Don't I wish! But no, you're confusing me with Elizabeth M.! Hee! Except my boobs do look way good.